Naive Night In #2: turning twenty six & learning to run.
or, it's been 84 years.
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Hey reader. It’s been a while, right?
I turned 26 and forgot how to write.
Well not really but I might as well have.
We were on a roll for a while, Substack and me. One post every two weeks…ish. And then nothing for, like, nearly two months. Time flies when you’re doing… well, what? What have I been doing? What’s changed?
Me, I suppose.
With inhaler in-hand I’ve decided to embark on my ‘fitness journey’. I, too, cringe at the thought, but I really have. Fitness and health and all those sorts of topics are a little tricky to talk about, but I’ll try my best. In short, my birthday celebrations a la Paris filled me with love and pastries. And cheese. And wine. And blue cookies shaped like Mickey Mouse’s head. And hot dogs. And cocktails. And burgers. And pizza. And crepes. And ice cream. (Ahh…it really was a magical time.)
But as my legs started to weaken 45 minutes into the queue for ‘It’s A Small World’, I realised I hadn’t been taking proper care of myself for a while. I shouldn’t be out of breathe! I shouldn’t be aching! I should be lithe! Young! Fit! Free! After all I’m only sixtee-wait…
Basically somewhere between turning 26 (supposedly my ‘late twenties’ which is just BS but whatever) and being surrounded by the tiara-clad mouse-eared ghosts of my childhood, I noticed I’d let myself go. Not in a ‘I’m fat, I hate myself, I must never eat again, hand me the Ozempic and get Kylie Jenner’s plastic surgeon on the phone’ way that diet culture and skinny-tok would perpetuate. No. This was more of a wake up call to the fact I just wasn’t really looking after myself. I didn’t feel strong and I wanted to. I didn’t feel fit and I wanted to. For the first time, I really saw my aversion to the slightest suggestion of exercise for what it was - not very good, not very fun, and not very considerate of future-me (I’d like her to be able to stand in line for ‘It’s A Small World’ without keeling over). I felt lazy ergo unhappy ergo something had to change. So I changed it. As I stepped off the Eurostar, I also stepped into a health kick that has kicked my ass for the past two months.
I have a digital trainer, apps, new running shoes, a gym membership, protein bars… everything except any money left. It really does cost you to be healthy. Or maybe it just costs that much for me because I need to literally invest in myself to feel motivated. Ahh sweet capitalism, you’ve caught me out once again. I’m by no means a gym bro and I do still bitterly bitterly hate exercise. I just hate it a bit less and feel a bit healthier all round. Yay!
So, basically, the usual investment of time and energy and passion that I’ve been pouring into my Substack has been diverted into a new stream of fitness.
Anyway, excuses aside, I do still know how to write, I don’t live at the gym, and last I checked, my trainer’s never told me to cut out Substack-ing so there’s really no excuse. Take this as my word: I am back.
And you might be relieved to know that after all that, this month’s recommendations will not revolve around fitness - I promise.
Below, you’ll find:
Reading recommendations (spoiler: audiobooks have captured my heart)
Paris travel inspo
… and why you need to take yourself on a solo date, like, now
Reading
Gym + needing to listen to something to take my mind off of how much I hate the gym = audio books!
May and June were golden months for books because I listened to so many. So I guess really this section is:
Reading Listening
I finished Butter by Asako Yuzuki at last. Half a year later and it’s finally done. Listening to the descriptions of food while I cycled was the closest I’ve come to experiencing psychological torture, but they really were great. The rest of the book I found just fine and the ending was a little anticlimactic. It was a solid 3/5 in the end.
Aside from that, I’ve also listened to Lauren Graham’s autobiography and am halfway through Frankenstein and Cleopatra by Coco Mellors. I am so embarrassingly far behind on reading this but oh well. Liking it so far not loving, but time will tell.
Any more reading recomendations to stop me throwing myself off the treadmill in despair, please let me know - my sanity is at stake.
Wishing for
Paris.
I was there two months today and it still makes me ache thinking about how beautiful it was, living out my Andy Sachs dreams. And as you’ll already know from the ludicrous amounts I consumed whilst there, the food was beautiful too.
Here were some of my favourite eateries to aid/inspire you for an upcoming trip:
PNY > burgers
Bloom Sushi > vegan sushi (cannot recommend enough)
Pink Mamma > pizza and pasta
Noir > coffee
PSA: I’m vegetarian so eating French cuisine is tricky for me, hence the lack of any form of actual Parisian fare anywhere on this list. Je suis désolé, je le promets.
Eating
I suppose the last section was sort of eating BUT this is different, I promise. Last week I took myself on a solo date - the first I have ever done.
And, although I was apprehensive at first, it was a delight. Perched on a stool at a sushi bar, sparkling water in one hand, gyoza in the other, I had a whale of a time. So please, if you get the chance, take yourself on a solo date. It could be as simple as a coffee in a green space or a picnic for one - nothing fancy required. Just some quality bonding time to get to know yourself a little better and romanticise life a lil’ bit.
That’s all for today, kind reader.
Now, I’m off to get my steps in (aka a quick jaunt to Tesco for a Crunchie). Until next time, be safe and gentle,
~ Cesca